If you´re wondering why I am writing so frankly about my past it is probably because I learned last week that my youngest brother Rusty (well, adopted brother but definitely my brother) died in his sleep just 35 years old...It made me wake up and discover that you can´t keep running away from your past. I don´t regret many things in my life but I do regret not seeing rusty in 18 years. The last time I saw him he was 17 and rebellious. I became rebellious at a later date but you´ll read about that soon.
When I joined the U.S. Air Force back in 1986 I was ready to leave America and forget everyone really. When I left I didn´t really know I was gay. Well, I knew of course, but I wasn´t ready to confront it I guess. Anyway, when I boarded the airplane I waved everyone goodbye. I reached into my luggage to retrieve a book I was reading and I found a stuffed animal of Garfield. It was Rusty´s favourite stuffed animal. He must have snuck it in my luggage when I wasn´t looking. It was such a sweet gesture and it made me cry which is something unusual for me. Oh, I will cry during a sad movie or about animals but I rarely show that emotion around ´real´ people. He must have been around 11 at that time. Ironically, I kept that Garfield stuffed animal all these years. I plan to place it at his grave when I visit Florida this summer. Yes, after 18 years or so the prodigal son is returning. I must admit I have a lot of anxiety about that. Strangely, everybody seems to remember me. In one way or another I must have made an impression.
Anyway, back to the beginning. I had a difficult time growing up. Being adopted is a strange thing. Although my adoptive family was very loving and good to me somehow you don´t feel like you totally belong I guess.
My best friend growing up was my neighbor Albert about the same age as me. We used to do everything together like playing football. He was a good quarterback and I was a pretty good wide receiver. We used to sing a lot together and that was before karaoke. Hmm, maybe we created that. ha ha We used to immitate the Bee Gees (he could hit the high notes) and Kiss. I was Gene Simmons to his Paul Stanley. We were also into science fiction, especially Star Wars and Star Trek. We built our own Starship Enterprise in the woods complete with makeshift computers. The Enterprise was in the woods nearby a cemetary which is odd I admit but we were kids...what did we know about death and that kind of thing. One time we were playing Star Trek in our little Enterprise and there was a funeral procession taking place right outside our space craft. Luckily, nobody saw us.
While growing up I was really into music, especially country music and Elvis Presley. My Dad repaired computers and cash registers and that sort of thing but his real hobby was antique autos. He had a lot of old cars like a 58 Ford and a 49 ford pickup, which was pretty cool I guess but I wasn´t that much into cars. (The first red flag?) What I did like about the old cars was sitting in them as a little kid and pretending I was driving. I also liked singing along with Elvis while ´driving´ in the cars. Back then it was 8 Track cassettes. That was a lot of fun. I still know almost every word to the songs sung by Elvis. My dad also raced old cars. We used to go with the whole family to watch. I wasn´t really that interested in car racing but my brothers loved it. I am from Daytona Beach which is famous for the Daytona 500 autoracing event. When I was a young kid I was in the boy scouts for a time and we used to clean up after the races. I used to like watching Richard Petty racing. He is a legendary Nascar racer. He was like the Michael Jordan of autoracing. I believe he has won the Daytona 500 more than anyone. I recall that then president Ronald Reagan came to watch him win one year.
dinsdag 9 maart 2010
Genesis part two
Before I get into the Radfords I wanted to tell you about my first religious experience. I was this pretty dorky nerdy kid with glasses. One day I was walking home and some kids threw rocks at me (go figure) and one hit me in the eye. Well, my mother, being the religious type called the local pastor. He came to our house and did a healing. I am serious. He put his hand over my eye and told me that if I´d believe that the wound would be gone the next day. Well, believe it or not it was gone the next day! Pretty scary stuff. ha ha My second religious experience was with Danny in grade school...it was also my first sexual experience. Afterwards Danny decided to become a priest. I guess I made him see the light...
Anyway, I was brought to the Radfords where I met Sandy and Roy Radford. Sandy was the Angeline Jolie from her time. She had loads of adoptive kids. She had one real son Rusty and one daughter from a previous marriage Debbie. Rusty was really young when I moved in. For awhile it was just Rusty and I until I went off to summer camp where I met my two real brothers Robert and Paul. They weren´t very happy with their foster homes so I suggested they come live with me. (What was I thinking...ha ha) Anyway, Angeline..uhh..Sandy thought it was a good idea and that is how my two real brothers came to live with me with the Radfords.
Later on, Pam and Mitch came to live with us. They were a real brother and sister. In no time we were one big family.
Anyway, I was brought to the Radfords where I met Sandy and Roy Radford. Sandy was the Angeline Jolie from her time. She had loads of adoptive kids. She had one real son Rusty and one daughter from a previous marriage Debbie. Rusty was really young when I moved in. For awhile it was just Rusty and I until I went off to summer camp where I met my two real brothers Robert and Paul. They weren´t very happy with their foster homes so I suggested they come live with me. (What was I thinking...ha ha) Anyway, Angeline..uhh..Sandy thought it was a good idea and that is how my two real brothers came to live with me with the Radfords.
Later on, Pam and Mitch came to live with us. They were a real brother and sister. In no time we were one big family.
Genesis part one
Hello, my name is Jerry Lee Radford and I am 43 years old living here in The Netherlands, but it didn´t start out that way. I was born Gerald Eugene Blasingame (jeez...I hated that name no wonder I changed it) in Daytona Beach, Florida on June 7th 1966. I barely remember my real parents. We grew up poor living in the projects with many minorities. This probably explains where I get my soulful side from. I used to tell people I grew up a poor black child even though I am white as the driven snow...
My real parents are a blur to me because I was put into foster care at a young age (7 years old as I recall). My father was named Gerald, or Jerry, as well. Gerald Dean Blasingame (he must have hated that name as well and thought he would pass the curse on..ha ha) worked as a house painter and moonlighted as a country western singer. As I recall he wasn´t half bad and I remember even seeing him on television once. He resembeled Hank Williams Sr. He used to sing me to sleep at night when I was a kid. He always sang that song `Help me make it through the night` by Kris Kristofferson. I always liked that song. My mother was Joyce Bennett Blasingame and I remember she was inflicted with an illness, polio I believe, which caused speech problems, and she had difficulty with her legs when she walked. I really don´t remeber much about them because I was put into foster care when I was 7 years old. I remember my father turning into an alcoholic and becoming abusive with my mother. I remember as a little kid standing outside the projects in the pouring rain with my brothers and sisters and the police were arresting my father for beating my mother in a drunken rage. Needless to say, after that we were placed into foster care.
I have three brothers Robert (Bobby), Paul and Randy. The youngest Randy was born with cerebal palsy which also impaired his speech and motor skills. My two sisters were named Wanda and Barbara Ann.
When we were placed into foster care they split us up in pairs. So Bobby and Paul went to one family and Randy and Barbara Ann went to another. Wanda and I went to live with Clyde and Sandra. I don´t recall their last name but it was a short lived adventure. Sandra was a neurotic chain smoker and had one biological son I believe his name was Sam. He was a jerk and used to get us in trouble all the time. For example, at Easter one time he delibertly threw egg shells on the ground and blamed us. Sandra punished us good for that one, whipping us with a large belt. Once I walked into the garage and Clyde had my younger sister Wanda against the wall and was throwing a knife at her, barely missing. I grabbed her by the arm and we ran away.
It didn´t take long for the police to find us and we were shipped off to an aunt and uncle of ours. Uncle Jack was an exterminator and Aunt Barbara was his wife. I remember as a little kid wetting the bed and she would hang the sheets outside just so everyone could see. Needless to say, I didn´t stay there long. This time they took me away and left my sister Wanda there. I wasn´t happy with this at all but what can you do. I was put into an orphanage run by two guys from the Phillipines. They were pretty good to me and even taught me some of the language. I kind of liked it there, lots of kids to play with and everything. One day the social worker came along and told me she found a home for me at this family called the Radfords.
My real parents are a blur to me because I was put into foster care at a young age (7 years old as I recall). My father was named Gerald, or Jerry, as well. Gerald Dean Blasingame (he must have hated that name as well and thought he would pass the curse on..ha ha) worked as a house painter and moonlighted as a country western singer. As I recall he wasn´t half bad and I remember even seeing him on television once. He resembeled Hank Williams Sr. He used to sing me to sleep at night when I was a kid. He always sang that song `Help me make it through the night` by Kris Kristofferson. I always liked that song. My mother was Joyce Bennett Blasingame and I remember she was inflicted with an illness, polio I believe, which caused speech problems, and she had difficulty with her legs when she walked. I really don´t remeber much about them because I was put into foster care when I was 7 years old. I remember my father turning into an alcoholic and becoming abusive with my mother. I remember as a little kid standing outside the projects in the pouring rain with my brothers and sisters and the police were arresting my father for beating my mother in a drunken rage. Needless to say, after that we were placed into foster care.
I have three brothers Robert (Bobby), Paul and Randy. The youngest Randy was born with cerebal palsy which also impaired his speech and motor skills. My two sisters were named Wanda and Barbara Ann.
When we were placed into foster care they split us up in pairs. So Bobby and Paul went to one family and Randy and Barbara Ann went to another. Wanda and I went to live with Clyde and Sandra. I don´t recall their last name but it was a short lived adventure. Sandra was a neurotic chain smoker and had one biological son I believe his name was Sam. He was a jerk and used to get us in trouble all the time. For example, at Easter one time he delibertly threw egg shells on the ground and blamed us. Sandra punished us good for that one, whipping us with a large belt. Once I walked into the garage and Clyde had my younger sister Wanda against the wall and was throwing a knife at her, barely missing. I grabbed her by the arm and we ran away.
It didn´t take long for the police to find us and we were shipped off to an aunt and uncle of ours. Uncle Jack was an exterminator and Aunt Barbara was his wife. I remember as a little kid wetting the bed and she would hang the sheets outside just so everyone could see. Needless to say, I didn´t stay there long. This time they took me away and left my sister Wanda there. I wasn´t happy with this at all but what can you do. I was put into an orphanage run by two guys from the Phillipines. They were pretty good to me and even taught me some of the language. I kind of liked it there, lots of kids to play with and everything. One day the social worker came along and told me she found a home for me at this family called the Radfords.
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